kiss me, i'm bleeding
by closingdoors
Summary: Post-ep for 1x07, Home Is Where The Heart Stops. For my darling Amy. "He leans against the counter, and his eyes are so warm, so wonderful – the way that he normally looks at her when he thinks she isn't looking. This time she doesn't look away." COMPLETE.


And sometimes strangers leave notes for one another

on the hood of a car, things like _I'm having steak for dinner tonight,_

_I'll leave a plate warm for you._

But the saddest one I ever saw said _Kiss me, I'm bleeding._

**- ****quantum physics for the lonely woman, Meggie C Royer**

* * *

Today on _what should I write in order to ignore schoolwork that I'm behind on_ is this fic. Which is for Amy, who (un)fortunately noticed my tags on tumblr, and coerced me into writing this. I love you anyway. But I require more of that appreciation you kept sending me. For science.

* * *

The Castle's accept her into their family unit without question, sliding a plate of breakfast and a mug of coffee in front of her as she regales Martha and Alexis with the tales of the red carpet and Castle's ridiculous antics at the ball. Castle makes a few interruptions of his own, small quirks and innuendos that make her scoff and his daughter to shove his arm. Overall, they make her smile, and laugh, and feel warm all at once.

Soon, Alexis is leaving to meet a study group, pressing a kiss to her father's cheek and making Kate's heart swell. Martha follows after her in a blur of colours and perfume, babbling about a brunch date she has, and soon it's just she and Castle alone in his apartment.

"Here, let me help," she offers when he begins clearing away the dishes, gathering a few herself and dumping them in the sink.

He casts her a curious look. "I thought you had to get going?"

She shrugs, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Truthfully, before, when she had said that she had to get going, she'd been lying. All that was waiting for her at the precinct was paperwork, though it was her day off – she just liked having something to do, something to distract her. The empty silence of her apartment isn't one she likes to confront of her day off.

Castle knocks her hands away when she tries to help. "You're the guest, stop it."

She rolls her eyes. "Castle, they're just – "

"Like I said – you saved my life. Least I can do is make you some eggs. _And _wash up."

Sighing, Kate gives in, leaning beside him on the counter as he washes up. He rolls the sleeves of his shirt up, revealing the flex of his biceps and she swallows harshly, averting her eyes because _yes _he's attractive but she's sure as Hell not going to let him know that she's noticed.

"You think Ryan and Esposito will be jealous of my bruise?" He asks, grinning excitedly.

"Uh, they've seen worse."

Castle pauses, and then faux scowls at her, an attempt at menacing but really he looks like an adorable little puppy, so she smothers her grin with the palm of her hand.

"How about now? You think suspects will be intimidated by me?"

Kate can't smother her laugh, and Castle immediately pouts, turning back to the dishes with his chin held high. Oh. Cute. Yes.

"Sorry, Castle. I think you should leave the intimidating to me."

Castle nods, pursing his lips in agreement. "Yeah, I suppose. Especially since it's hot when you do it."

Her eyes widen as she leans away from him. _"Castle."_

"What? You're hot. You must know that."

His eyes are wide and innocent but something darker lurks beneath the clear blue, twining to create a cerulean. She feels her cheeks flush with heat as she fumbles for something to say, so she settles for saying nothing, shoving her hands into her jean's pockets, staring at the floor.

"Sorry," she hears him say. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Kate peers up at him cautiously, something shy nibbling away at her heart. She's not normally like this. Shy. Cautious, perhaps. Never shy.

Only, the Castle's are so nice to her, no hesitancy to their warmth even if her exterior is frosty, so sharp, touch and you'll be ruined. They laugh and the joke and they care, and yes, maybe there are many other families just like this one, but they're the only one who have ever accepted her, and they're the only one she wants to be accepted in, too.

"It's fine," she says, smiling reassuringly.

He accepts it, swiftly changing the topic.

"You want some more coffee?"

"I can do that. You finish the dishes, Mr Mom."

"Is that your way of asking to have my babies?"

She elbows him as she moves past him to the coffee machine, frowning to herself as she struggles to work the fancy machine. She only scowls at him when he laughs at her, eventually managing to make both herself and him a fresh mug of coffee, and she can't help but hum to herself when she tastes the liquid. Even better than the precinct's.

He accepts the coffee from her once he's done with the dishes, sipping cautiously at the hot coffee.

"So, Beckett, what do you like to do on your days off?"

She frowns at him. "How'd you know it was my day off?"

He rolls his eyes. "Puh-_lease. _Like Detective Beckett would ever be late for work."

"Okay, I'll give you that."

He smiles, warm and bright, making her stomach flutter. He leans against the counter with her, and his eyes are so warm, so wonderful – the way that he normally looks at her when he thinks she isn't looking. This time she doesn't look away.

"So, what do you like to do on your days off?"

"Sometimes I go to the precinct and catch up on paperwork, or go jogging, bookshopping. Anything, really."

"No binge eating and marathoning movies?"

"I'm pretty sure those are _your _hobbies, Castle," she points out, smiling up at him.

He shrugs. "Pretty good ones, in my opinion."

They fall silent, drinking coffee in his kitchen. It should be awkward, but there's something comfortable about it, something right. When she peeks up at him, she finds him watching her already, and her cheeks flood with heat again.

"We should do this more often," he blurts out, before closing his eyes and sighing. "Hang out outside of work, I mean. It's… It's nice."

With wonder, she realises that he's _shy._

There's something so different about him, here, at home, away from the precinct and his playboy status and cheeky charm. Something softer, gentle, that's she's had glimpses of before: when she'd told him about her mom, in the moments she'd seen him spend with Alexis, when they break the news to a victim's family.

She thinks she likes it. A lot, actually.

So she smiles back at him, speaking softly. "Yeah, it is."

He clears his throat, and then slides his mug onto the counter, turning to face her properly, face sombre and composed. Before he speaks he takes a steadying breath, making her heart pound with nerves.

"Kate," he murmurs, the sound of her first name on his lips is making her heart stutter. "Would you shoot me if I kissed you now?"

Stunned, she blinks and places her own mug on the counter, turning so that she can stare up at him.

She bites her lip, heart pounding.

"Try it and find out."

When his lips first smudge against hers, it's gentle, fleeting, no pressure. She sighs as he pulls away, not too far, still close enough for her nose to nudge against his when his eyes lock with hers.

"Any homicidal tendencies so far?" He asks, smiling.

"If you stop now, there will be," she breathes back.

Castle's lips find hers again, a little added pressure this time. Her body sways into his, hands clutching at his biceps as she kisses him back, a tender slide of lips.

Her breath stutters against when she opens her mouth to the cautious pressure of his tongue. The warm heat of his tongue against hers sends warmth pooling in her stomach, skittering through her veins, so she steps closer, until his arms wind around her back and her hips are pressing tightly against his.

She nips down on his lips, swipes her tongue there to soothe the sting and he hisses, his palms sliding down to palm her ass in retaliation. Against her will, her hips jerk against his, gasping into his mouth as she feels the skin of her neck flush.

His lips part from hers with a loud smack, and then he begins smattering kisses along her cheekbones, her jaw, her neck. Kate closes her eyes, biting down on her lips to quell her moans as they bubble in her chest.

"Castle," she murmurs, and the soft lilt of her voice attracts his attention, since he pulls back far enough to look her in the eyes. "Bedroom?"

He visibly gulps, which, once again, surprises her. She'd never expected this. She'd expected hard and fast and rough, not… cautious. Careful. Caring.

"You sure, Beckett?"

She smiles reassuringly, reaching down to tangle her hands with his. "Definitely."

It's all the confirmation he needs, apparently. Soon he's pulling her from the kitchen, through his study, and into the foreign scape of his bedroom. It's… not what she expects, again. It's warm, earthly, with a lilt of masculinity. His bed looks absolutely divine, makes her heart flutter. She's thought about them so many times between the sheets. But now it's real. It's actually happening.

Castle's fingers toy with the hem of her jumper, his fingers slipping underneath to stroke at the skin of her abdomen. She hums, reaching up to wrap her fingers around the back of his neck, pushing up on her toes to kiss him.

They only break away when he tugs her jumper over her head, but his lips attach themselves to hers immediately once he's thrown it to the floor. His hands span the length of her ribs, thumbs brushing softly as his fingers flirt with the edges of her lace bra. As she silently praises herself for thankfully putting on nice underwear that morning, he begins to walk her backwards, and when her knees hit the back of the bed he simply follows her down on the mattress.

She scoots further up the bed, head resting against the pillows, and he scatters kisses across her stomach, making her card her fingers through his hair softly. What she really wants is to be tearing his clothes off to see more of his skin, get a closer look at his flexing biceps, but he unzips her jeans and tugs them from her skin, kissing his way back up and her mind begins to go hazy.

"You're beautiful," he whispers against her neck once he's leaning over her again, and she smiles, props herself up to kiss him.

He nips his way back down to her chest, laving the top of her breasts with his tongue as she arches her back and he unclasps her bra. Once she shimmies it off he tosses it somewhere in the room, his mouth moving to bite down gently at the underside of her breast.

She moans, feeling him grin against her skin before his tongue swirls around her swollen peak, mouth finally closing around her breast. She gently curls her fingers in his hair, sighing, but then her hips almost rocket off the bed when his fingers suddenly slip beneath her panties and stroke her softly, spreading her wetness.

Castle barks a laugh so she scowls at him.

"Not funny."

"Oh, it is."

His touch is light, teasing, and then he travels down her abdomen and tugs her panties off, pressing kisses to the inside of her thighs. She holds her breath, fingers curling a little tighter in his hair as she gently adds pressure to the back of his head, urging him on.

"Patience, Beckett," he chides.

"I'm _done _being – _oh."_

Without warning, he slides a finger inside of her, his tongue circling around her clit. Her hips jerk slightly but he holds her down by banding an arm across her stomach, adding another finger and pumping gently, lips and tongue warm against the most sensitive part of her body.

Even with her hips pressed down, she manages to grind slightly, placing her legs over his shoulders and feet pressing into his shoulder blades as the pressure of his fingers and mouth and tongue increase.

"Castle," she breathes when the fire begins to burn in her lower abdomen, thighs shaking slightly.

He hums, sucking at her clit and her mind goes blank as she cries out and her body trembles as everything becomes blissful.

When she comes back to herself, Castle's propped himself up above her, watching her with a grin that seems some mix of admiration and self-indulgence. Kate bites her lips, searching his eyes for any inch of the playboy he pretends to be, but finds none.

"You okay?" He asks gently, smoothing a thumb against her cheek.

"More than okay," she replies. "Now take your clothes off."

Castle laughs, kissing her briefly before moving away. He kneels between her thighs and pulls off his half-buttoned shirt, then stripping off his undershirt to reveal the flat, tone skin of his stomach. She bites her lips in anticipation as he quickly pulls his pants and boxers off, her hand sliding down past her stomach to tease herself as she watches him.

He groans when he notices, quickly tossing his clothes aside, gloriously naked. Settling himself above her, he pushes her hand away, causing her whine.

"Jeez, woman," he mutters into her skin, darting his tongue out to taste her skin.

He reaches for the nightstand for protection briefly, eyebrows raising when she takes the condom from him and rolls it over him, brushing her fingers against his length. As his face contorts with pleasure, she grins, using her legs to flip him over. He grunts, surprised, as she twists them so that he's sitting up against the headboard and she's straddling his lap, his length trapped between their stomachs.

Kate grins at him wickedly, his hands settling on her hips as she kisses him and then lifts up, taking him in her hand and undulating her hips, until he's cursing and slick with her wetness, muttering impatiently against her lips.

When she first sinks down on him, it's slow, torturous, inch by inch until he's enveloped in her heat. He curses, fingers curling tightly against her hips as he rests his head on her shoulder, panting. She finally remembers to breathe as she wraps her arms around his shoulders, pressing her lips into his hair.

They stay still like that for a while, until eventually she catches her breath, and begins rolling her hips.

Castle groans, resting back against the headboard to stare at her. It's – different. Tender.

She likes it. Him.

"God, Kate," he curses as she grinds, hissing when her clit brushes against his abdomen.

She smirks, a little out of breath. "Didn't realise you were religious."

He growls, and she leans back, resting her hands on his legs as she arches her back and undulates her hips, small moans easing their way past her lips with every brush of their skin. His mouth latches itself to her breast and she curses, digging her nails into his skin as her breath begins to come in pants.

"I love the way you feel," he confesses into her sweaty skin, licking a path from her sternum to her neck. "The way you taste. The way you say my name."

Her body trembles, hips jerking as she reaches out for him with a growl.

Just to punish him, she moans, low and husky. "Fuck, Rick."

His hands tangle in her hair, yanking her head back as he begins to thrust up into her, fast and rough. Her hips circle in time with his thrust, her moans out of her control now, chanting his name when her orgasm rushes through her and he spills into her with a low groan of _Kate._

Once the shockwaves dissipates, her eyes flutter to open to find herself leaning against Castle, his hands wrapped around her, staring at her dazedly, hair mussed and eyes glassy.

She grins, wide and dumbstruck.

"Hi."

Castle brushes a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Hi."

Shyly, he smiles, hands stroking the skin of her back. She sighs contently, settling her head against his shoulder and her hands drifting against the toned skin of his abdomen.

"Kate… Is this…"

Kate presses a kiss against his neck, pushing on his bicep softly so that she can tangle their hands together. It's clammy, but it makes her heart pound, the simple act of tenderness after what they just shared.

"Not just your conquest, Castle."

She feels the sigh of relief rush through his chest, his other hand anchoring her tighter to him.

"Stay for dinner, Kate. With my mother and Alexis."

Laughing, she nods. "Usually I wait to be taken out for dinner before jumping into bed with a guy."

He grins, skin wrinkling around his eyes. Beautiful. Has she ever told him that? He's beautiful, in his heart too, and he's accepting her into his family after only months of wearing her pissed off attitude down. She'd forgotten how that felt – acceptance, family. Sure, she has distant relatives, and her dad, but those are all strained relationships, nothing compared to what the Castle's have.

It should scare her, she knows that. It goes against everything she tends to be cautious with. But something about Castle is… different. A good kind of different.

"When do you expect Alexis back?"

He glances at the clock on his nightstand before answering. "Not for another two hours. Why?"

She grins, slipping from his grasp and climbing from the bed.

"Well, after all of that exercise, I feel the need for a shower. Don't you?" She asks coyly, heading for his en suite and making sure to sway her hips a little extra. Just for him.

As she walks away, she shoots him a suggestive look over her shoulder, laughing as he groans.

He's the one laughing when he has her pinned against the wall of the shower and moaning uncontrollably moments later.

* * *

**The End**


End file.
